JJMAJR's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Trump Funny Face 2]

If it wasn't for the biased reviews in here, I wouldn't be trying to cover this guy's butt. If there wasn't these 2-year-olds crying about their president, I'd simply give this 3.5 stars.

Anyways, there are some things I wished were features in this game.

One thing would be to make the president look like he was one of those old ~'60's characters that wear black makeup on their face to try and look like *ahem* an african-american. (But failing miserably, mind you, as his lips would still be pink.)

The next thing I would have liked in this game is more features, and smoother editing. So far, the picture is poorly photoshopped, as parts of the picture remain pink when we change his skin color. However, looking like crap is probably the point, as we are going to be editing his face with some of the most childish things to do to someone's portrait.

I can honestly say that I never seen anything like this on newgrounds, which is why I can't give this a "2". For some people, it may not be interesting, but unless I am mistake, it's definitely NEW.

Moderators, if those "OMG YOU HATE OUR PRESIDENT 0 STARS" votes get removed, then I'd like this one to be changed to 3.5 stars.

[Get Creamed!]

The animations are reliant on one frame in order to pull off a dodge or counterattack. I know that the animation frames per second isn't... great... but due to how jumpy the animations are, it's disorienting enough for me to find this game hell.

Thus I give it 2 stars. Disappointed because this game had *ahem* appeal, but in my opinion it's fair.

[Ouroboros]

I've been having a wonderful time, but where is the fairy market? I heard that you can get things called "insights" from the fairy market, which give good loot and stuff. However, I haven't been able to find the market in this version. Is the fairy market a 2.0 exclusive?

If so, what other parts of this game can only be found in 2.0?

SierraLee responds:

Glad you've been having a good time! The fairy market was added in version 2.0, sorry. You can still collect all the insights and get (mostly) the same prizes, in this version there's just a different number of them. Pretty much anywhere the characters have a conversation about their past(s) will grant insight points.

As for 2.0 exclusive content, here's a list off the top of my head:
- Fairy market
- Elemental dungeon (Amiel, Teira, and Emantha only)
- Security dungeon (and sorcerer boss fight)
- Taking the Vizier's offer
- The unique cycles (each woman gets a chance to take control and be the hero for one cycle - or not really hero, in Amiel's case ^-^)
- Atreyan's new solo cycle
- Various conversations and pieces of equipment
- Six more sex scenes

I think that covers it. Version 2.0 is essentially the same game, but has about twice the content.

[Elevator]

The loss of jumping height coming at random really kills the game. There should be a metric available that shows when that BS is going to be thrown.

[Yin Yang Guardians]

1. It's not very clear that all enemies can hurt you but you can only hurt enemies of the opposite color.
2. Controls in this form is a bad idea. It's nearly unplayable on my laptop because I can't use mouse functions and the keyboard at the same time. Also, there's no purpose to moving the mouse, so why is the attack bound to left click?
3. I thought it would be interesting, trying to mediate a conflict between two warring factions, but instead it's a typical survival game where you fight as long as possible.

All in all it's a game that I was heavily disappointed by, for the above reasons.

[Don't Kill Grandma]

The caffeine in chocolate, along with all that sugar, is probably not that great for the wizard. As the symptoms that we see here are as follows:

Worse reaction time
Irritability
Hyperactivity
Anxiety
Reduced control over fine motor movements

In general, it's a tragedy. Akkaz the sorcerer either gets killed by some terrorist or ends up killing his own grandmother because of his paranoia. His grandma, being quite oblivious, keeps feeding Akkaz cookies even though the food worsens his condition...

[Inuit Fishing]

Well, this game is simple yet very fun.

I don't really have much else to say.

[You Have 293 Keys]

Nice technology exhibition.

Poor game quality.

I think I have never seen an HTML5 game come around where the cursor could be locked until now. So this is fairly important to me. The only problems I have with the technology now are as follows:
-OpenGL memory limit is extremely restrictive on games (like World of Guns: Gun Disassembly (this is something that I loved playing on FB.))
-Can't rebind "press ESC to unlock cursor" to a key combination on my browser.
-The game that shows off this technology is not as good as it should be.

Nonetheless I have to give some respect here...

[Breakout Trump's wall]

Gotta keep this nice meme going. We must spread this green dog throughout the land!

(You should probably add the "comedy" tag to this game, if you can.)

[Leap Jet Bear]

I have noticed that while playing this game my browser keeps trying to load shit.

Because of this the screen keeps freezing and I end up teleporting all over the place. Because of this I have to assume that something is going wrong and I can't give this a very high rating.