JJMAJR's game Reviews on Newgrounds

[Marble Trap]

Four stars.

Cannons are by far the worst aspect about this game. There's no telegraphy on when they are going to fire and they do so at random intervals relative to one another.

Also, medals don't work and I completed all levels.

[Vampire Garden]

This is like the sequel to Omelettes I never asked to be shoved into my rectum like hard boiled eggs and yet despite how it sounds so wrong it feels so right as it

okay sexual jokes aside, it's pretty good stuff. The puzzles are REAL hard and I was only able to unlock up to level 70 and have a clean run of levels up to 44 over the course of a couple of days. This is in comparison to both Labyrneath titles which took me less than a day for me to finish each of them.

The game is downright frustrating at times but at the same time if you are going to play something that sounds so homoerotic as "Vampire Gardener" you should be prepared to be fucked in the ass.

I apologize to anyone that's actually gay and is reading this I'm just following outdated conventions from edgy teenagers in 2009.

I really would want to see more of this and am downright entertained by your content so far. Keep it up!

[Bloody Submarines]

I got PISSED at this fucking game.

Five stars obviously.

Template88 responds:

Yeah, its a bit ridiculously hard.

[Tails' Nightmare 2]

Who can truly deny the power of the Tails Doll?

[Danger Joe 3D]

Well, Wolfenstein did age a little bit like this thing did.

I really, really wish that more effort went into the art for the sprites though.

[Sanki]

This just captures the "good old fashioned fun" that the developers no doubt intended for this game to have.

Otherwise it would be infuriating trying to make sense of the hilariously flat sprites when trying to get high scores downhill.

[Don't F**up Christmas]

Why is my popup blocker going crazy when I play this game?

TristanMX responds:

Whenever you play the game tries to log you in newgrounds, that's the only window that pops up.

[Secret Santa]

This was actually pretty fun. Just wish it was longer.

[Online multiplayer block test RACE]

Restart doesn't work. When landing on a specific box at the bottom of the screen you just die.

Seems normal for this category.

I'm figuring that you are intentionally making this bad because you have a screen taken out of a pornographic intellectual property.

Can't you at least add epilepsy-inducing colors?

ZabuJard responds:

ill make sure to add epilepsy next time!